That’s My Paycheck, Mr. President

In case you haven’t heard, the President’s preference for crushing the
worker has recently overcome his desire to be the “Homeland Security”
President. The vicious class warrior has so under funded the Department of
Homeland Security that… well, rookie border guards will now
really be paid less than the security guard at Macy’s.

True Stories: Earlier this month all but one computer was disconnected
from the printers to save 8.5×11 limited stores of paper. For weeks
obsolete stamps have been cannibalized for replacement parts. This week
officers started hoarding the rubber bands that bundle the masses of paper
we produce. We. Can’t. Afford. Rubber. Bands. Officially, the transition is
going great
. That’s good. But I hesitate to suggest that the
executives might not be getting… uh… the most accurate information
from the Thick Yellow Line.

As I’ve said before: policy is WAY over my pay grade. I have no policy
discretion to speak of (which evidently makes me a candidate for
outsourcing) but I’m directly affected by every ripple of “personnel
reform”. I’ve long been warned that overtime would be cut, and now the
numbers have been announced: for June through December we will have 1/4th
the overtime we had from January through June. So it seems Mr. Bush has,
as was inevitable, finally hit me in the pocket book – my average
income will drop by 30-60% in the second half of the year. I’m putting a
hold on non-essential purchases. Even coffee. The economy will not pick up
on the back of my consumer confidence, brother. That camel’s as broke as
my single-income-family co-workers. There’s always food stamps.

Not to worry though: the shift to privatizing
goes on! One of our most tedious paper-shuffling jobs is
being contracted out to a private company… which will be paid 70% more
than the federal officer who used to do the job. That my friends, is why
Halliberton is a very wealthy company. If you know a homeland security
who’s hiring, let me know (Psst! I got what you