In a surprise announcement today NASA introduced an initiative to exterminate monkeys world-wide.

“The simian threat to human domination for near-space calls for drastic measures,” said one top official. “If we don’t stop them now they’ll be smearing bananas all over our orbiting telescopes within a decade.”

The US President is rumored to have signed an executive order authorizing a covert war against monkeys in any uncooperative nation.

In related news, Baboons are said to have launched a test missile from the highlands of Kenya that landed in southern Saudi Arabia. An official from the House of Saud, when asked for comment, said only “Allah hates Baboons.”