Cubs vs Mariners; Davis vs Schwarzeneger

This is becoming a sordid tradition, my election day antics. I just hope
this election doesn’t turn into a bender like the 2000 elections. I’m
still feeling ill from that one.

I was sitting at the counter of a bar in Vancouver during the provincial
elections when the Liberal Party slaughtered the New Democratic Party,
turning the Government into a super-minority so small it didn’t even
legally qualify as the Loyal Opposition. I was sitting at the counter of
another bar in Vancouver during the US presidential Elections when two
different channels were simultaniously declaring different winners (things
only got worse from there). I wasn’t allowed to vote in that election, but
that’s not the point. I was sitting at a bar during the California
Primaries when Bill Simon (the Gray Davis favorite) won out against
Richard Riordan for the GOP nomination for Governor. And so, I was sitting
in a bar during the California Recall of 2003.

It was the bottom of the 9th in the National League Playoffs and the Cubs
were trailing the Mariners 6-8. One runner on base with two outs when
Sammy Sosa steps up to the plate, swings, hits, hops and sends the ball
over the wall to keep the dream alive. The ticker at the bottom of the
screen announces “DAVIS RECALLED… SCHWARZENEGER GOVERNOR…” Well, shit.

The Cubs lost in the eleventh inning.

That White Power freak Pete Wilson’s back in the Big House and I can
already see the Prop 187 brigades creeping out of the shaddows. I don’t
know what I’m going to do if they start climbing into the limelight.

The liberals are confused and amused, the conservatives pleased. The is
GOP ecstatic and the DNC is royally pissed off. The media is
curious how Arnie’s going pull off any of the things he’s promised and the
magic number seems to be “100”.

As in “homeboy’s got 100 days to make good”. He’s got to find 30-odd
billion dollars and make progress before he gets racked over the coals
too. The GOP says another recall won’t fly but the DNC hasn’t decided yet.
If there is another, the DNC activists have decided not to turn in the
petitions more than 80 days before the next election… in March. That
means they’re not making a move until Arnie rolls out his new budget in
January. I’m expecting a Enron-Karl Rove-Ken Lay-Gov Arnold scandal in the
next 100 days, probably when he lets $9 billion slip through his fingers
in return for a few million in campaign contributions… in the next 100

Anyway, it’s all a classic Californian clusterfunk and I take no
responsibility for any of it. I voted for one of the 300-and-something
“Other Guys”.

Democracy is the idea that the people know
what they want and deserve to get it good and hard.

—HL Menken

Good luck Guv’nar.