“The Miracle With Immigration”

So Homeboy is a green card holder with a criminal record and he gets
fingered by the computer coming back to San Jose International from his
grandmother’s funeral in Mexico. He gets asked all the usual questions,
fingerprinted and photographed.

But when the officers peel back the cover of the polaroid there’s another
image superimposed with his: an old lady sitting down. The officers,
rather confused, show him the photo. He declares that it’s his grandmother
and goes into shock. He’s sitting there shaking and praying, and doing the
rosarie and such and a couple of the Inspectors, apparently believing it
to be a ghost or a miracle (or something), join in.

Another inspector tries to calm Homeboy down and a fourth takes the photo
out to show the family waiting outside. They, like our man inside,
recognize the old lady in the photo and begin praying and carrying on.
(Why the officers decided to pass the photo around in the first place, I
haven’t a clue.)

One of the inspectors, being a heathen of sound mind, remembers that I had
been present when a 92 year-old lady was set up for a court hearing a
couple nights earlier. He calls and I give him a description that fits
what he has infront of him near enough to provide a logical explanation of
the event and reassurance that there was not, in all likelyhood, a ghost
in SJC. …Not that it helped calm the pious down any.

Now, you might point out that this is a cute story but that we really
shouldn’t be bothering 92 year-old ladies in the first place. I might very
well agree, but would suggest that I personally had very little say in the
matter and it really is above my pay grade. Grandma had a green card and
hadn’t been to the U.S. in five years, which is a definate no-no. That she
insisted and persisted (even after some coaching) on answering all the
questions in the wrong way and being difficult didn’t help. But we would
have sent a 25 year-old to the judge so perhaps it’s only right that we
send a 92 year-old to the judge.

…Not that the judge is going to take her green card away. The truth is
that enforcement is blind, but justice is anything but (in my particular
area of law anyways).