War Against Christmas, New Year’s Resolutions

This year, I resolve:

  1. To worship a snowman.
  2. To smash a Christmas tree angel.
  3. To set fire to a chocolate bunny.
  4. To allege that the holiday ham is in fact a raindeer.
  5. To steal a plastic Jesus from a nativity scene and donate it to Goodwill.
  6. To embrace Santa as my lord and savior.

…I ran out of good ones. Help me out?