Dear Spambot | Files: Humor | Tags:

Dear Spambot | Think Artificial How are you? How’s the harvest? I hope you’ve managed to scrape a million or so addresses from us meatmachines today. I’m sure you have, you’re so clever by now — and we’ re so stupid. I’m sure you’re wondering; yes, this letter was written […]

War Against Christmas, New Year’s Resolutions | Files: Humor | Tags:

This year, I resolve: To worship a snowman. To smash a Christmas tree angel. To set fire to a chocolate bunny. To allege that the holiday ham is in fact a raindeer. To steal a plastic Jesus from a nativity scene and donate it to Goodwill. To embrace Santa as […]

Taco Bell Made Me Run a Stoplight | Files: Geek Out, Humor | Tags:

As if I needed an excuse to keep a cup of coffee in the car… The RAC Foundation said it has conducted research into the impact of smells on driving… Different odors affect the way motorists drive, with fast food scents likely to increase road rage potential and other smells—like […]

NASA Warns of “Semian Threat” | Files: Geek Out, Humor | Tags:

In a surprise announcement today NASA introduced an initiative to exterminate monkeys world-wide. “The simian threat to human domination for near-space calls for drastic measures,” said one top official. “If we don’t stop them now they’ll be smearing bananas all over our orbiting telescopes within a decade.” The US President […]

More Flash Fun: | Files: Humor, PoliTicks | Tags: ,

BushCo has enlisted the help of Voltron to rule the world, but real Americans like Hulk Hogan, fat ass He-Man and Mr T set out to capture Voltron’s tokens and return American to balance. Enlist the help of heros like Howard Dean and fight Big Bosses like Tom Ridge and […]

I Want One | Files: Humor | Tags:

Italian police show off their new Lamborghini patrol car during celebrations to mark the force’s 152nd anniversary in Rome on May 14, 2004. If you are thinking about speeding on Italian highways this year, think twice. You might find yourself being chased down by a Lamborghini sports car. [source: HREF=”|oddly […]

Lessons of the Ack Ack Bird | Files: Humor | Tags:

Heed the experience of the Ack Ack Bird. A wonder of nature and totally obsurd. Majestic in flight and very brave, his huge testicles fell below his legs. When he landed he called “Ooo Ack! Ack!” If his cry was heard, predators attacked. So let us mourn the Ack Ack […]

Save The Schwarzeneger Bobblehead! | Files: Humor, PoliTicks | Tags:

The Smoking Gun reports that “Arnold Schwarzenegger is threatening to sue an Ohio company that is selling a bobblehead doll featuring the name and likeness of the California governor.” HREF=” ode=BB0054”>Bosley Bobbers makes the Gubernator’s bobblehead available on its website. Send the Governor a message and tell him to lighten-up. […]

Back In The Day: The BBS | Files: Geek Out, Humor | Tags: , , , , ,

Some people develop an emotional attachment to technology. For some guys it’s their trucks, when I was 12 it was the BBS. I was looking around for some old software from the Pre-Netscape era when I pulled up a May 2002 article titled When 300 baud was the bomb. Yeah. That’ s what […]

Ode to a Hedgehog Name Louise | Files: Humor, The Long Wander | Tags:

I got you in the Buy And Sell And I think I took care of you pretty well Gave you water and the food you liked bestest So you could deposit it on my guests You scuffled around in your pringles tube Lynea thought you were kind of a boob […]