{"id":235,"date":"2005-04-01T20:20:32","date_gmt":"2005-04-01T20:20:32","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/opendna.com\/?p=66"},"modified":"2022-11-08T11:34:53","modified_gmt":"2022-11-08T11:34:53","slug":"nasa-warns-of-semian-threat","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/opendna.com\/blog\/2005\/04\/01\/nasa-warns-of-semian-threat\/","title":{"rendered":"NASA Warns of &#8220;Semian Threat&#8221;"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>In a surprise announcement today NASA introduced an initiative to exterminate monkeys world-wide.<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;The simian threat to human domination for near-space calls for drastic measures,&#8221; said one top official. &#8220;If we don&#8217;t stop them now they&#8217;ll be smearing bananas all over our orbiting telescopes within a decade.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>The US President is rumored to have  signed an executive order authorizing a covert war against monkeys in any uncooperative nation. <\/p>\n<p>In related news, Baboons are said to have launched a test missile from the highlands of Kenya that landed in southern Saudi Arabia. An official from the House of Saud, when asked for comment, said only &#8220;Allah hates Baboons.&#8221;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>In a surprise announcement today NASA introduced an initiative to exterminate monkeys world-wide. &#8220;The simian threat to human domination for near-space calls for drastic measures,&#8221; said one top official. &#8220;If we don&#8217;t stop them now they&#8217;ll be smearing bananas all over our orbiting telescopes within a decade.&#8221; The US President [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"webmentions_disabled_pings":false,"webmentions_disabled":false,"activitypub_content_warning":"","activitypub_content_visibility":"","activitypub_max_image_attachments":3,"activitypub_interaction_policy_quote":"anyone","activitypub_status":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[8,25],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-235","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-geek-out","category-humor"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/opendna.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/235","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/opendna.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/opendna.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/opendna.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/opendna.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=235"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/opendna.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/235\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1865,"href":"https:\/\/opendna.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/235\/revisions\/1865"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/opendna.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=235"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/opendna.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=235"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/opendna.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=235"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}