{"id":218,"date":"2005-12-09T08:03:38","date_gmt":"2005-12-09T16:03:38","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/opendna.com\/humor\/2005\/218"},"modified":"2005-12-09T08:03:38","modified_gmt":"2005-12-09T16:03:38","slug":"war-against-christmas-new-years-resolutions","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/opendna.com\/blog\/2005\/12\/09\/war-against-christmas-new-years-resolutions\/","title":{"rendered":"War Against Christmas, New Year’s Resolutions"},"content":{"rendered":"

This year, I resolve:<\/p>\n

    \n
  1. To worship a snowman. <\/li>\n
  2. To smash a Christmas tree angel.<\/li>\n
  3. To set fire to a chocolate bunny.<\/li>\n
  4. To allege that the holiday ham is in fact a raindeer.<\/li>\n
  5. To steal a plastic Jesus from a nativity scene and donate it to Goodwill.<\/li>\n
  6. To embrace Santa as my lord and savior.<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

    …I ran out of good ones. Help me out?<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

    This year, I resolve: To worship a snowman. To smash a Christmas tree angel. To set fire to a chocolate bunny. To allege that the holiday ham is in fact a raindeer. To steal a plastic Jesus from a nativity scene and donate it to Goodwill. To embrace Santa as […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"webmentions_disabled_pings":false,"webmentions_disabled":false,"activitypub_content_warning":"","activitypub_content_visibility":"","activitypub_max_image_attachments":3,"activitypub_interaction_policy_quote":"anyone","activitypub_status":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[25],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-218","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-humor"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/opendna.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/218","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/opendna.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/opendna.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/opendna.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/opendna.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=218"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/opendna.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/218\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/opendna.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=218"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/opendna.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=218"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/opendna.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=218"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}