{"id":180,"date":"1999-11-01T12:00:00","date_gmt":"1999-11-01T12:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/opendna.com\/?p=180"},"modified":"1999-11-01T12:00:00","modified_gmt":"1999-11-01T12:00:00","slug":"enter-the-jack-rabbit-part-1","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/opendna.com\/blog\/1999\/11\/01\/enter-the-jack-rabbit-part-1\/","title":{"rendered":"Enter the Jackrabbit, Part 1"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><em><a href=\"http:\/\/opendna.com\/blog\/?tag=enter-the-jack-rabbit\">Enter the Jackrabbit<\/a> is a subset of the Viper Pit series. It was written during  the 1998 congressional campaigns over  the course of a few days and has been split up to accommodate the web.<\/em><\/p>\n<blockquote><p>&#8220;Going ninety, it ain\u2019t scary,<br \/>\nwhen I\u2019ve got my Virgin Mary<br \/>\nsitting on the dash-board of my car.<br \/>\nDressed in rhinestones,<br \/>\nsittin\u2019 pretty\u2026&#8221;<br \/>\n\u2014 &#8220;<a href=\"http:\/\/www.youtube.com\/watch?v=GHf7TD4qwjk\">Plastic Jesus<\/a>&#8221; by Paul Newman in <em>Cool Hand Luke<\/em><\/p><\/blockquote>\n<p>Two days and three thousand miles (?) later, I have: slept nine hours in three days; learned the streets of certain parts of Raleigh, North Carolina, like the back of my hand; been preached at by born again Christians; been pulled over going 87 in a 65 (\u201creckless driving\u201d) in Alberta County, Virginia; lost my wallet \u2013 containing (among other things) my mother-of-all ID cards \u2013 on the side of US 85 in Virginia; tasted the heroin that Hunter S. Thompson describes eloquently, in the introduction of Fear and Loathing on the Campaign trail \u201872, as similar to the thrill jack-rabbits get from running across roads in front of cars \u2013 political campaigns; and remain in better spirits than at any other time in this asphalt deficient city they call the nation\u2019s capitol.<\/p>\n<p>Sadly, my left arm is twitching in a rather disconcerting manner and gravity is sucking like a competition between an industrial Hoover vacuum and a White House intern, so I\u2019m going to sleep in my boots now and spend some other extended time period writing what I did, where, why, and how I managed not to get arrested or ticketed by the friendly officer an hour and a half out of Petersburg (or was it Richmond?). Good night, and remember: Jesus loves everyone on Sunday.<\/p>\n<p>\u2013 3:26 a.m. 11\/2\/98<\/p>\n<p><em>Editor\u2019s Note: All mathematical calculations above are unreliable, but<br \/>\nthey are the originals.<\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Enter the Jackrabbit is a subset of the Viper Pit series. It was written during the 1998 congressional campaigns over the course of a few days and has been split up to accommodate the web. &#8220;Going ninety, it ain\u2019t scary, when I\u2019ve got my Virgin Mary sitting on the dash-board [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"webmentions_disabled_pings":false,"webmentions_disabled":false,"activitypub_content_warning":"","activitypub_content_visibility":"","activitypub_max_image_attachments":3,"activitypub_interaction_policy_quote":"anyone","activitypub_status":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[18],"tags":[15,16,17,23],"class_list":["post-180","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-viper-pit","tag-electioneering","tag-enter-the-jackrabbit","tag-politics","tag-usa"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/opendna.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/180","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/opendna.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/opendna.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/opendna.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/opendna.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=180"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/opendna.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/180\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/opendna.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=180"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/opendna.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=180"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/opendna.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=180"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}