{"id":157,"date":"2003-03-06T12:00:00","date_gmt":"2003-03-06T12:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/opendna.com\/?p=157"},"modified":"2003-03-06T12:00:00","modified_gmt":"2003-03-06T12:00:00","slug":"duh","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/opendna.com\/blog\/2003\/03\/06\/duh\/","title":{"rendered":"DUH!"},"content":{"rendered":"

Some people are so deep in their own worlds they are oblivious to the
\nworld around them. My previ
\nous
\nrant<\/a> may not really convey the problem in it’s full colors, it might
\neven be pointed to as evidence that I am too high-strung for this job.
\nPerhaps this will shed some light on how deep the problem really
\nis:<\/p>\n<\/p>\n

Bang. Bang. Bang. “WelcomehomeNEXT!” It’s another day on the US
\nCitizen\/Returning Residents end of The
\nLine<\/a> at SFO. Once I’ve decided (or determined beyond a reasonable
\ndoubt) that someone is a US citizen (“USC”) I have no legal authority, so
\nit’s a really rapid fire procession of passenger processing. As far as I’m
\nconcerned, Americans are like ducks: If it looks like an American, walks
\nlike an American and sounds like an American, it’s probably an American. I
\ndo check the documents, but that’s really more habit than anything else.\n<\/p>\n<\/p>\n

\nSomeone on high has decided that Americans can return home with a driver’s
\nlicense and a birth certificate, and that’s enough. Given the piss poor
\nquality of US birth certificates (from a security perspective) and the
\nutter incompetence of DMVs to determine citizenship, I think that’s nuts.
\nAs usual, that’s above my pay grade. You can put your expired American
\npassport through the spin cycle, sit on it across southeast asia, drop it
\nin the rain and drive over it for three days (to combine a few common
\ncauses of mutilated passports), and I’ll probably STILL let you back into
\nthe U.S. I may give you a look to convey how inappropriate you passport
\nis, make fun of you for laundering passports instead of money or inform
\nyou that any self-respecting country would deport you upon arrival. “Can I
\njust replace the photo in my passport with a newer one? It’s split wide
\nenough.” No. You may NOT replace the photo in your passport. We DEPORT
\npeople for that, you twit! You’re supposed to get a new passport. (sigh) I
\nmay even bring a supervisor over to yell at you and chase you out of the
\ninspections area, but I’ll still let you in. Why? Because you look like an
\nAmerican, walk like an American and sound like an American. Congress
\nexpects no less. (And I DON’T wanna hear any bitching about “profiling”,
\nyaear?)<\/p>\n

Anyways, it’s a Mexicana flight loaded with lawful permanent residents
\n(aka LPRs pronounced “Lah-PeRs”, aka green card holders) returning from
\nfamily visits and USCs returning from Cancun (or something). Bang. Bang.
\nBang. Until I see Homeboy waiting at the line.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n

Buddy’s wearing a cowboy hat and a tan leather jacket, typical “cowboy
\nattire”. He’s got Bling-Bling action, if you know what I mean: big
\ngold-colored rings and bracelets and a thick gold chain around his neck
\nwith a medallion at the bottom. A big, six inch in diameter gold colored
\nmedallion of a pot leaf.\n<\/p>\n<\/p>\n

\nNow, come ON. I don’t care what you do at home, on your own time, behind
\nclosed doors or in your back yard. But do you have to walk up to me, under
\nsurveillance, in an area called the Federal Inspection Area with a virtual
\nbillboard announcing marijuana use? If you’re a USC you’re going to get
\nyour bags tossed around by Customs. If you’re not a USC, you’re going to
\nget your bags tossed around by Customs AND Immigration.<\/p>\n

\nJust ‘cause buddy’s got a green card doesn’t mean he’s not at risk. Heck.
\nWe can bounce him out of the country if he’s been arrested twice with any
\ndrugs – no conviction required! Wait, I said “arrested”. You can just
\nadmit to it, that’s good enough. Right or wrong, it’s the law, and I’ve
\nseen a number of guys get sent off to the judge for just that.<\/p>\n

\nSo I mark his customs declaration for double inspection (in case the guys
\nin secondary don’t feel like doing an interrogation this early in the day)
\nand send him on his way. The next passenger steps up and I send her back
\nbehind the line to consider what I’m going to enter as the reason for
\nreferring him.<\/p>\n

\nI briefly consider a simple “Duh!” because anyone who sees him will know
\nwhy he was referred. I think better of it and write in possible grounds of
\nremovablity (drug user) and offer a suspicion of drug trafficking.<\/p>\n

\nThe doc checker (see “previ
\nous
\nrant<\/a>“) later told me he did a double-take when he saw Homeboy. He said
\nhe was going to refer him if I hadn’t.<\/p>\n

\nWell, duh.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Some people are so deep in their own worlds they are oblivious to the world around them. My previ ous rant may not really convey the problem in it’s full colors, it might even be pointed to as evidence that I am too high-strung for this job. Perhaps this will […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"webmentions_disabled_pings":false,"webmentions_disabled":false,"activitypub_content_warning":"","activitypub_content_visibility":"","activitypub_max_image_attachments":3,"activitypub_interaction_policy_quote":"anyone","activitypub_status":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[22],"tags":[20,23],"class_list":["post-157","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-on-the-line","tag-immigration","tag-usa"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/opendna.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/157","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/opendna.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/opendna.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/opendna.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/opendna.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=157"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/opendna.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/157\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/opendna.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=157"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/opendna.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=157"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/opendna.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=157"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}